Tuesday, March 03, 2009

‘Captain Kirk’ as Prime Minister, don't drink the Tranya Kool-Aid

Story: ‘Captain Kirk’ Wants to be Canada’s Prime Minister

I can see it now, as Prime Minister of Canada, he might easily take control of North America, but will he be swayed by the charm of the alien?

Exploring a distant region of space, Canada is threatened by Barak, Democrat and president of the new Oligarchy of the U.S.

"Captain's log, Stardate 1513.8. Origin and purpose of the stimulus package still unknown. We've been here, held motionless, with much economic chaos, since last September, when it first became clear a radical leftist and new leader of the Democrat party would be the next president of the U.S."

"Captain's Log, Stardate, 1514.0. The TARP stimulus cube has been destroyed. Ship's damage minor, but my next decision major. Probe on ahead or turn back and close our borders to the south?"

Barak accuses Canada of not being 'fair', and devoid of 'hope' and not in favor of 'change', since they destroyed a stimulus package for Canada and considers the destruction of Canada. When Captain Kirk tries to explain to Barak what happened, extremely powerful sensor probes invade Canada in all banking systems and Barak threatens to destroy their economy if any move is made to keep government small. When Kirk dispatches Mark Steyn, a Canadian writer and political commentator, Barak destroys him and gives the parliament ten minutes to make death preparations.

Spock mentions chess; when you're checkmated, the game is over. In a side argument with Dr. McCoy, Kirk uses the word "bluff". This immediately gives him another idea: poker. He tells Barak that a saying in Canada called corbomite, undocumented in their national computer records, will destroy any attacking stimulus attempt. Kirk then dares Barak to try his high taxation on Canada, saying the Socialist government of the U.S. will be destroyed by the corbomite.

After several months and more stimulus, nothing happens, in fact, the economy worsens. Barak tells them that Canada's ecomomic destruction was "delayed" until the Democrats can verify the existence of corbomite. He demands proof, but Kirk refuses. Barak announces that a small ship will tow them to a nearby green U.S. Solar plant where their power will be destroyed with carbon caps and the parliament interned. Under tow, Kirk has the Canadian people gradually resist. Just as the Canadian economy is about to explode from the strain, it breaks free. The alien's Democrat party and government is heavily damaged and Uhura concludes that the Democrats will not likely to be rescued. But instead of destroying Barak's administration or Washington D.C. or simply leaving, Kirk decides to rescue him. He knows it could be a trick, but their mission to explore demands risks.

Kirk and McCoy transport to D.C. where they encounter a fearsome-looking dummy head that they had thought was Barak. They meet the real, child-like Barak. He heartily welcomes them and offers tranya Kool-Aid, a drink of the Democrats and much of the U.S. Main-stream Media, and 53% of the population. He explains that everything was a test to determine their true intentions. Barak then suggests a cultural exchange, and sends Hillary to remain to learn more about them. Thus Canada is swept in and swayed by the charm of the alien, the 'one', and eventually succumbs to socialism, later to become part of the Oligarchy of the U.S.


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