Saturday, May 27, 2017

The Harvard Crimson




BREAKING: Mork Zinkletink Zonks all over the Internet!

By Claire E. Parker
zoink!

The day is here for Mink Zuckerzuck to go speeching for the Harvard! Every year we beg him to come PLEASE but only now will he come here to this place, here now, he is here to prove that he is stronger president material than Joel BidenBoy. Nice Try Joe Man, but you can't Zonk the Zucker-Duck. This guy can Zoink anything.

FLYBY: 10 Websites that Merk Zuckerbook Stole From the Water Sports Boys

By Andrew M. Duehren and Hannah Natanson
zonkerdonk

The only thing worse than these stolen websoots is the QUAD. Does that make sense? I dropped out reeeeally early.

BREAKING: Dark Zinkybink Parties with the Dick Swinging Big Boys at 44 Bow

By Derek G. Xiao
Mork Zinkletonk Zoinks All Over Internet

ALSO BREAKING: local plates

Senior Section
The Graduating Class of 2017, By the Numbers
This week, the Harvard College Class of 2017 will enter a world still divided over November's presidential election and, overwhelmingly, begin their post-graduate lives deeply pessimistic about the direction the country is headed.
By The Crimson News Staff
I WROTE THAT SPEECH Thinks Sleepy Kayak Boy in Commencement Crowd
By Michael S. Avi-Yonah, Lena K. Felton, Ha D.H. Le, Celeste M. Mendoza, Maia R. Silber, Jill E. Steinman, and Kamara A. Swaby
1967 Reunion
Harvards Anti-War Protests Intensified
Anti-war student activists clashed with politicians and University administrators as the nation grappled with one of the most controversial wars in the country's history.
By Laszlo B. Herwitz
With History Written in Roxbury, Harvard Remained Ambivalent
By Jamie D. Halper
Slouching Towards Mather House
By Luke W. Xu
1992 Reunion
A Mild-Mannered Man: President Rudenstine's First Year
​"He's in the crowd, but you can't pick him out," a 1991 article said of Harvard's newly-elected President Neil L. Rudenstine. "He doesn't look like a Harvard president."
By Dianne Lee
Harvard, Connected: The Houses Got Internet
By Phelan Yu
Igniting Tensions: Racial Discord Rocked Campus
By Kristine E. Guillaume

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