Bluto's List of Failed Talking Points: "Trump Is Finished"
*Lindsey Graham drops out! All his Base Belongs To Jeb! Trump is toast.
*Obama takes time out from golfing to drop a big pile of "Racist p0op" on Trump's supporters. Demonizing Americans is always a smart move. Trump is done.
*Trump isn't begging for $$$ = HE'S BROKE!!! OMG! Trump has no money!!!
*Hillary claims Isis is spontaneously recruiting in reaction to a Trump YouTube video. Susan Rice goes into hiding, screaming "Not this again!".
*Congress deploys the annual last-minute Giant Trillion Dollar Middle Finger to Americans yet again. Everything is under control in DC, nobody could possible want Trump now.
*Putin endorses Trump. Democrat's heads explode with worry that they'll lose the coveted Communist Voter Base. Trump is Finished.
*Trump mistakenly thinks it's better to get along with Russia & accepts Putin's praise. World War Three advocates promptly denounce Trump as evil
*Jeb! puts on his best Mr. Rodgers Sweater, Hulks-out & shouts, "Donald Trump is a Jerk" – tens of people rise up & give him the obligatory golf clap response.
*Journalists roll out the Putin Kills Journalists meme in a effort to get Trump to stop beating them like a Red-headed Step-child. The plan backfires spectacularly & the beatings continue. Americans love affair with journalists will destroy Trump, right?
*John Kasich deploys the devastating whirlwind of his Kung-Fu Hands 100% during the debate. Nobody can survive his Karate Chops – even Trump.
*Trump's poll numbers climb yet again after the debate. He's definitely finished this time.
*Trump has peaked. He'll slowly fall off and quit. He's finished.
He won't run
He's not serious
He has funny hair, we hate funny hair
Bankruptcy!!! OH NOES! (pretend it's not legal, mmmkay?)
He won't file his candidacy papers
He's never held public office. He can't win.
He won't connect with the voters
He's finished if he doesn't apologize to Univision
He's finished if he doesn't apologize to Nascar
He's finished if he doesn't apologize to Macy's
He's finished if he doesn't apologize to ESPN
He's finished if he doesn't apologize to McCain
He's finished if he doesn't apologize on demand, period.
He'll never poll well. He's finished.
He'll never lead in the polls. He's finished.
He'll never file his financials. He's finished.
He's offended all veterans. He's finished.
He thinks raping his wife is dandy. He's finished.
Some contrived, bizzaro crap about breastfeeding. WTF?
He's against Amnesty. He's finished.
He's for Amnesty. He's finished.
Just scream Amnesty…it'll dazzle everybody
He doesn't really want to be President. He's finished.
He said stuff about blood! OMG OMG! He's finished!
He'll be exposed in the debates and fail miserably. He's finished.
Frank Luntz said Trump has collapsed. He's finished.
Redstate claims he won't make it to Iowa. He's finished.
George Will says Trump can't sit down to tea & talk to voters. Finished!
He's offended all women. He's finished.
He's just a carnival barker. He's finished.
He won't last,he's done after tomorrow….err..next week…err…next month
He can't defeat Bush, He's finished.
He can't beat Hillary ,it's already been decided
He's finished if he doesn't apologize to Megyn Kelly
He falsely claimed he's Batman. He's Finished.
He insulted Mexicans again by beating up poor Jorge Ramos
He's not a REAL conservative (in Spanish!), He's finished.
Repeat the lie that he want's single payer healthcare. He's Finished!
He won't sign the Pledge. He's a jerk. He's finished.
He DID sign the Pledge. He's a jerk.. He's finished.
He thinks Candidates should speak English! OH THE HORROR! Finished.
He failed the Hugh Hewitt Trivia Quiz of Crap
Foreign policy is much more important than immigration. Trump is finished.
His 5 second comment re: Syrian Refugees = Detailed Amnesty Policy!
He joked about Carly's face! OMG OMG OMG. He's finished!
He won't apologize to Carly. He's Finished.
He won't apologize to Carson. He's Finished.
He can't win without the Evangelicals. He's Finished.
Bobby Jindal called him names. He's Finished.
Ben Carson questions Trump's faith. OMG! He's finished.
The country wants a Minister not a CEO. He's Finished!
Scott Walker drops out. This is bad for Trump. He's finished!,
Greg Gutfield thinks Trump is a clown. He's Finished!
His poll numbers are down. He's still in the lead. He's Finished!
Trump won't give us details. He's finished!
Trump releases 2nd Amend policy details. Ignore it! He's finished!
He's finished if he doesn't apologize to all Muslims.
Carly won the debate. His poll numbers are down. He's finished!
Trump fatigue is upon the electorate. He's Finished!
Some random dude said "Obama is a Muslim". It's Trump's fault.
Trump MUST apologize for random "Obama is a Muslim" dude
He's finished if he won't apologize to Jeb!s wife
George Will declares Trump a crybaby, uses the word "apogee". finished.
Trump legally hired seasonal workers. It was legal! That's wrong! He's toast.
CNN says his rallies are actually poorly attended. Oh dear! He's done.
Trump called Rubio a clown. Clowns everywhere are offended. He's finished.
He won't go on FoxNews, He's Finished!
He acts brash and immature on Twitter. He's finished!
The Donald has the temerity to shout the word bullsh** on live TV. OMG! Done.
Trump refused to partake in the fleecing scam by the Hispanic CofC. He's finished.
Romney declares Trump will not be nominee. Mitt's an expert loser, he knows.
Trump says Putin can take out Isis. Trump should stop him! We can't have that.
Oh no! Trump's back on Fox News. He caved. He's a whiner. He's Finished.
He doesn't have a Tax Plan. He's Finished!
He DOES have a Tax Plan! He's Finished!
He's stolen Jeb!s Tax Plan. It's good? It's bad? We don't know, but it's stolen.
Trump's Tax Plan is will raise the debt by Trillions. Freak out! Freak out!
He's for single payer healthcare. Repeat the lie again. He's finished.
Trump alienates Republicans with his Tax Plan. He's Toast.
Trump's a dope, he loves the Pope. He's gone.
Rich Lowry claims The Donald's had his balls cut off. Trump is done.
NY Times claims Trump's campaign hats are so ugly that only Hipsters will wear them as a symbol of their superior sense of irony. Good God, if Hipsters don't like Trump, he'll NEVER win! He's finished.
The Donald admits if he somehow was able to poll as horribly as Graham, Jindal, Christie, Gilmore, Perry, Walker, Kasich, Santorum, Pataki & Huckabee combined, he would exit the race. Brilliant Mathematician Chuck Todd concluded that polling consistently 10 times those candidate's numbers means Trump is quitting tomorrow.
Trump claims our Govt actually collected intelligence as far back as 2001! They even had intel before Sept. 11th. No way! That's Crazy!
Trump took donations from the public & not lobbyists! OMG! He's a fake!
Trump claims Dubya was actually the President in 2001. Crazy!
Crazy Trump claims Bush was actually POTUS & compels Jeb! to denounce Trump. nobody can survive the wrath of a Bush. He's finished.
George Will goes bonkers. Debunks Trump & Snidely claims TVs are actually made in America (even though they're not). Will mocks Trump. Trump is done.
Trump's led the polls nearly every day for almost 4 months. He can't sustain that type of success. He's finished.
Cruz says he thinks he'll get the nomination. Breaking news! A candidate wants to win and actually says so. This can only mean Trump is done.
Jeb! staffer & Ginger Groupie Actress conspires with CNN to push the "War on Woman" narrative. Trump is taken out yet again by an angry Bimbo. The Horror.
Trump melted down in Iowa Speech. He's Done
He made fun of poor delicate flower Ben Carson. He's finished.
Trump lost the debate. Everybody else is Surging! Toast.
Trump said "bomb the $h** out of 'em" in public! OMG OMG. Finished
Trump made John Harwood lie on national TV. He's finished.
Carson is surging! Carson top of the polls! Trump is finished.
Jeb rolls out "Jeb Can Fix It" Ruh Roh! He's serious. Trump is out.
Hillary had a great day lying to Congress! She's a winner. Trump is done.
Trump can't win without the Lying Leftist Reporter voting bloc. He's Finished.
Trump insulted a reporter with a disability.WHAT? The HORROR!!!
Kasich did some ads. OMG! Advertisements! Those are unheard of in an election!
Trump can't take Advertisements…..OMG they're on TV too!!! He's DOOMED
Ted Cruz surged to 12%. Crap! Trump is only at 38%! What will he do?
Raging "Black Life Matters" Idiot goes wacko at Trump Rally. Obviously Trump's
fault. Trump is a big meany for allowing idiots to be idiots. He's finished.
Trump claims Waterboarding is useful. Lindsey Graham counters with support for Snowboarding. Trump is finished.
Trump outrageously claims that French people should be able to defend themselves using…oh dear…GUNS. How crazy? Self defense? NO WAY!
Trump is a Database loving Nazi! Everybody say it: Nazi! He's Finished!
WH Spokesman goes 100% Presidential & Insults Trump's Hair. We've gone full circle! We are now back to THE HAIR!! Recycled Talking Point of DOOM!
Trump has successfully united the DEMS, the GOP, The Media & Islam. Nobody has ever done that before, he's doomed.
One week after 14 People are slaughtered by Muslims, the Media & DC join hands and decide Trump is a bigger Enemy to Americans than a murderous cult of Jihadists heII bent on our destruction. That's gonnawork. He's done.
All the King's Media & All the King's Politicians collectively freak out over Trump's claim that we should protect our Citizens from Islamic Terror. Even Humpty Dumpty pooped his pants with panic.
Paul Ryan demands Trump drop from the Race. That will happen, right?
Lindsey Graham "Mr. Zero %" tells Trump to Go to HeII. Trump says he doesn't have time for a Christmas Party in California right now.
Paul Ryan takes a break from selling out our country to tell us how The Donald is Horrible. Trump withers.
Trump prefers to stop our Islamic Enemies from entering the country rather than curtailing American's rights. He's Finished!
Trump claims that Islamic Terrorists have a problem assimilating in our
society and makes all of DC & the media wet it's pants.
Trump thinks maybe we should have Muslim Control instead of Gun Control.
Trump makes the mistake of actually refers to Islamic Terror by using the words "Islamic Terror". He can't do that!
Trump goes Full Capt. Obvious: Claims terrorist's Mom who shared bomb-making
residence with Farook-McBoomy-Beard must have known stuff was goin' down.
Trump wants to get serious about Islamic Terrorists by going after the poor innocent family members who enable their Jihad Plans. The left collectively wets their pants, blame Trump for the urine smell. He's finished.
Trump is going to start WW3! Everybody panic! He's out!
Trump dares to say Muslims were celebrating 9-11. What? Muslims hate America? That's just so kooky & crazy! Trump is insane. Muslims love us!
GOP Establishment leaders claim Trump is finished in a memo that pleads for
GOP Establishment to study Trump because he's Winning. Wat????